Rant.....Warning just venting you may not want to read this one!

It's been a strange week for me emotionally. I got a call back for an interview for the company that I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to work for based on the type of work they do and the size and stability of their current business. I have, over the past 3 weeks, submitted a total of 17 applications for just about every available position listed on their website. It finally paid off! I got a call back, went to the interview, which I felt went very well, and the said they would let me know something either way in about 5 days. Waiting.....Waiting.....Ring......Ring the next day they called to make me an offer. Lower than I wanted but much more than others in this flailing economy so I took it. I think I am so numb from all of this I am unable to feel at this point? I was so excited when they called for the interview and now I'm just blah. This move has been very emotional. I (hiding face) almost think I might miss NC? I know what the hell, I complained about wanted to come back to FL and now I wonder if it was the right choice or not. My husband is not working (not by choice) there is NO work and when I say no work I mean NO WORK anywhere. There are so many people out of work and companies are laying off not hiring! It's scary. We applied for food stamps because there was a dire need we had no income and not for lack of trying. It has been over a month and still no word on those, we go so desperate today that we went to a local food bank for a family of 6 they gave us a can of tuna, box of rice cripies (can't afford milk), box of bow tie pasta, 2 boxes of mac and cheese (again cant afford milk to make it) and a can of green beans. Don't get me wrong we are thankful! I said all of that because even charities are hard off right now. I think all of this combined with watching the news and seeing all the war, job loss, economy woes, death and destruction just has me in a funk to the point I can't even rejoyce in the fact that I got a job! Not only did I get a job I am going to get a paycheck before christmas! Why in the hell am I so blah? I'm just scared I guess, scared that I am not going to have food to feed my kids next week, scared my husband might not find a job for a long time, lord knows we can't make it on my salary alone we would be homeless or car less in a matter of months if it's up to only my salary. I had to drop out of school because I could not afford to make my student loan payment! SIX------6 classes to go to finish my bacholers and I had to drop out because I couldn't afford to make a $98 student loan payment. I cried oh I cried about that. I will go back, I will start working and slowly pay off my balance at school and finally finish up those last classes, so maybe instead of graduating May 2009 now it might be May 2011? I know I know for the love of all that is Holy stop whining and be happy for what you do have. I am, feel truly blessed that I have a roof over my head, a beautiful, healthy, happy family that now includes having my 5 year old niece with us now and a wonderful husband who has come so far and is now the husband I always wanted him to and knew he could be. Please take a minute to read the words to this song I LOVE IT and yes it's the new Sears commercial but it really is an amazing song that inspires me to do great and wonderful things everytime I hear it!